My 2nd Roll of Film This Year! February 2026

[ my fav shot of the roll! shot by my friend Raj. 

i love the contrast of my outfit against the dark background, the lines and layers, the pop of yellow & the crowd! ]

Hello! It's a Friday night and I'm staying in to wake up for a morning run tomorrow. 

Christmas is here- meaning, the roll of film I sent to get developed, is ready!

I get an (email) link from Bang Bang Geng (the place I develop my film).

I sent it in on Tuesday and it was ready on Friday. 

I used Kodak Colorplus 200 along with my Olympus Mju film camera. 

The price of Kodak roll (that I bought at the time) was around RM42. 

Processing is RM36 per roll.

I get 38 shots per roll (usually it's 36). 

So it works out to around RM2 per photo. Haha.

Darkroom8 at Cheras is the cheapest but I would have to mail it there, 

so I just drop it at Publika. But if you go to Film Gazing, 

they can actually send it for you, free of charge- 

you just pay to Darkroom when they receive your order. 

I told them Koon (the owner) that my film was expired in 1/2025.

I bought 3 packs of Colorplus back in 2023... hahaha. 

Most film rolls "expire" after 2-3 years.

 [this photo was taken at Bang Bang Geng, hahahhaa]

Sometimes, people freeze them in the fridge to extend 10-30 years of shelf life (apparently).

Apparently, if it's expired for a few years it should still be okay to shoot,

if it's expired for more than 10 years, 

you would have to shoot 1 stop brighter to expose it more, 

or push 1 stop during developing. 

I am not sure how that works, but I am this roll turned out fine! 

My other Fuji Superia roll turned out really bad, 

and the owner said it's probably expired for more than 10 years. 

I asked the security guard to help us to take a picture but I forgot to tell him 

it's a film camera, not a digital camera. 

He took 2 shots. Haha. 

It's very difficult to take pictures on self-timer, 

because there's no LCD screen or test shot, 

you have to depend on the viewfinder... 

which is basically a transparent window.

And here's my very cute nephew and my cousin's son. 

Don't ask me how that shopping cart appeared in my grandma's house.....

I have realised that I prefer daytime pictures for film photos, 

especially those with visible layers and lots of details, daylight and depth. 

I don't like flash shots at night or close up selfies- because I think

those kinds of photos are great for digicam but not film camera. 

Film pictures require a lot of patience...

I take 1-3 weeks to shoot a roll.. and then wait 1-2 weeks 

to send the roll and wait for the scans to come back. 

So by the time your photos are done, you've already forgotten what you've shot. 

Film cameras also allow you to be in the moment, 

because you have to be intentional. 

There's also no playback for you to critique. 

You just have to trust that it was fine and move on. 

I get my love from photos from my father. 

He used to always have a camera when we go traveling, 

and he would take pictures- 

of us together, of us alone, of himself, of sceneries he liked. 

Then he would print them, and put them in an album. 

And he would show it to his mother or siblings. 

He cherished creating memories 

and sharing experiences with his loved ones.

When we finally moved houses, 

he took great care to make sure the photos were also transported.

As a result, we do have photos from 1990, 1980. 

My grandmother is the same- I see black and white pictures

of her family when they were young. 

Something in me changed, when I saw a picture of my Dad

as a young child.

I only saw him as a grown man, capable and always persevering. 

I never imagined that he would be once a vulnerable child

with his own hopes and dreams. 

Seeing that picture of him broke my heart a little, 

because Daddy would recount stories of how he used to be very poor. 

And my grandmother, she lived through the war, when the Japanese troops came. 

So in a way, they were all survivors. 

Here's the picture of my Dad as a kid. 

He's the tiniest one on the left. 

Dad is the fourth in the family.

My Aunt came after him.

Here is Dad again. 

In the middle are my grandmother (Ah Ma) and grandfather (Ah Kong).

My Ah Kong passed away when he was 60 years old. 

I was 7 years old. 

The day he passed, 

I remember being pulled away in the middle of the class.

They told me I had a family emergency, and my family came to pick me up.

We went to my grandmother's house promptly. 

And here is their wedding picture. 

My grandfather is pretty tall, like 180cm or something when he was younger.

And so throughout the years, since I was 12 years old, 

I would collect cameras here and there.

Here's my Dad, copying my pose.

Hand on the hip, et al.

I spent like two hours looking through old pictures 

that I've never seen in years, maybe even a decade.

And I'm so happy, once again, 

that I've found pictures of my Dad, that I've forgotten. 

Perhaps, I will spend the rest of my life scouring for bits and pieces of him like treasure.

I had a dream of a steamed fish yesterday. 

I asked chatgpt about it. 

In the dream, I was handed a steamed fish by my Dad because I was hungry. 

It was a professional restaurant style ginger steamed fish. 

It was still alive, and I kept feeding it water to keep it alive. 

Then, I put it in the fridge to preserve the fish. 

My Dad gave me another plate of fish, already prepared and ready to cook.

The dream was explained as my Dad providing me provision, 

and I'm trying to preserve it by putting it in the fridge or keeping it alive, 

and I still get more provision eventhough he's no longer here. 

 “Support carries on in grief through memory, legacy, and internalized strength.”

And there were countless things that my Dad did, that still continues to give me

strength and provision today. 

Like always encouraging me to further my studies: 

from diploma, to degree, to master's. 

And investing in my business, and helping me so I can save. 

And also the strength he has showed me through the years, 

in his own journey. 

Daddy always had the foresight, because he has lived longer than me. 

I wonder if he treasured pictures so much, because he has lived through losses as well? 

He lost his eldest brother in his twenties (late teens?) and his Dad, in his late thirties. 

Maybe he knew that time was precious and finite, and loved ones

wouldn't be here forever. 

And he wouldn't be, too....

 

Eventhough he's not here, 

he's still very much here. 

In every photo he's in, in every photo I took of him, 

in all of my memories and experiences that I've had of him, 

and I guess even my DNA and genes is still him. 

So he's gone and also not gone,

and everyday, I wrestle with this. 

I start to think about who am I without him, 

because the foundation I used to stand on is no longer here. 

It has changed, and I have to change, too.

I am trying to figure out how to carry on with grief-

not to forget about him but to remember him and take him in my journey forward, too.

And part of it is letting go who I was-

my identity, my lifestyle, my values. 

So I can discover someone new, someone who can hold this grief

in a more honest and loving manner. 

I miss when I could express myself just for myself.  

Not for views, not for business, not for likes.

Just for my personal enjoyment, like this blog, or my photos. 

I could be long-winded here, I could be cringey here. 

Because a blog is so high effort to read, especially 

in this age of short form content, I feel more safe here. Haha.

I'm a long form content kind of person. 

I like my things to stay. 

Like IG stories, it disappears, and I can't look back. 

Okay continuing on with the film roll....

Heng Hei's farewell

 *yawn*

Okay that's all for today,

bye bye!

Take care of yourself and your loved ones.

Love, Bubu.